This Mummy Can be Supportive

Thank you for all the messages of support after Kate’s post. We’ve been sent lots of really great ideas to help her and eventually when Kate feels up to it she’ll put them in a blog post so anyone can make use of them too. 

It’s been a hard few days for all of us. Kate had a doctor’s appointment on Friday which thankfully was really helpful and they’ve adjusted her meds, offered her CBT and took her seriously. He also gave her the number of a Crisis team just in case. Kate was supposed to go on a shoot this weekend but he strongly advised that she cancelled and after a lot of persuasion from me, she did. Being in a tiny little room over night on her own at the Travelodge isn’t good for anyone let alone when your mental health is bad!

I wanted to write something about what it’s like being the partner of someone who is going through a period of bad mental health… it’s really not easy – it’s so hard seeing her like this and there not being anything I can physically do. Kate has a lot of pain with her disability and usually I can help by doing practical things like fetching her painkillers, running her a bath, help her get dressed etc. But there’s nothing I really do at the moment and looking on helplessly isn’t an option either. However, when I asked Kate if I was helping, she said I was. So I asked her what I did that was helpful…

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I guess it’s going to be different for everyone – I’m sure some people just like to be left alone for instance, but that’s what is working for Kate at the moment. She’s gone into work today which is really great and hopefully she’ll be able to manage the whole day there. It helps that she is the boss and knows that she has the option of leaving if she really needs to! A couple of other things that have been helpful I think are that I’ve been trying to give Kate all the rest and extra sleep she may need – however, without letting her sleep in too late as then that would result in her not sleeping at night and as everything seems so much worse at night – for anyone. 

I’ve also tried to be decisive about things as I think Kate feels quite lost sometimes with making decisions even about what to eat, what to do in the day etc so as long as she is feeling well enough to go out and about I’ve tried to come up with gentle plans for the day which include eating clean and well – no caffeine, things that give her a bad tummy (she is allergic to a LOT of food, nightmare!), no alcohol and lots of fruit and veg.

At the moment we are just taking each day at a time and knowing that we are not alone in this is so helpful and reassuring.  

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One thought on “This Mummy Can be Supportive

  1. My mum has suffered from mental health issues for 15 years on and off and at first we found it really hard to find help for other than geriatric groups that deal with women with dementia – it was all so disheartening – she ended up on a cocktail of meds which took away her personality – so I would be aware of the potency of long term meds. In the end we found CBT and mindfulness the most helpful – as long as I went with her – tbh I found it helpful too – especially dealing with the stresses of every day life. Routine was also very important and well as being in familiar situations thst she knew she could deal with. Being out of her comfort zone exacerbated her symptoms. She is now completely off the meds – but uses mindfulness and routine as a tool to be able to cope with day to day life. A big kiss to you both – life can be so tough sometimes – but having each other and baby Scout will give great strength. Love to you both ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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