We never imagined Scout to be an only child and so when she was only 4 months old we stocked up on some of her donor’s sperm from the London Sperm Bank so we could one day realise this. Since then, it’s been tucked away in a little freezer somewhere in the darkest depths of London waiting to be called on to do it’s job.
A couple of months ago we got in touch with a fertility clinic in Sheffield and arranged a meeting to put together a plan of action. I’d somehow blocked out most of the (highly stressful) treatment we had to have Scout. For one thing I’d forgotten that the clinic would want to know every little detail about our lives to the point where it feels as though you are having the toughest job interview of your life – to be a parent. Completely irrelevant questions were asked – the consultant focused on Kate’s disability for at least half an hour when this felt redundant to us really… It wouldn’t be Kate carrying the baby so we couldn’t really understand it and were left biting our tongues . Were they questioning her ability to parent? Or was it pure nosiness?
Anyway, you’d think having had a child already (who is by all accounts is happy and thriving) we’d be spared the in-depth questioning but we were even asked to go to a counselling appointment so we would understand what we were getting ourselves in for. (Having brought a hyperactive toddler along to the meeting who was happily playing with the uterus model on the table I think I know what I’m getting myself in for thank-you-very-much.)
From our point of view it looks so easy for hetro-sexual couples to have babies when I totally know that’s absolutely not the case for everyone. For a same sex couple it’s hard when you feel like you need to jump through so many hoops in order to even be allowed to try and get pregnant. Next step is a HIV test at some point in the next couple of weeks. Another box to tick and another waiting game. I’m just going to have to try really hard to be patient and let all of the leg work wash over me and concentrate on giving myself the best chance possible to get pregnant… acupuncture, lots of dairy and exercise here I come!
I’ve no idea if these things will even help but they may have done when I became pregnant with Scout so it won’t hurt to give them a try. Plus maybe they will keep my mind occupied during the whole process.
Our 6 week ultrasound showed what K has been thinking all along…that we are having twins!! So shocked… my high hormone result and my bad sickness all makes sense.
I’ve had a really rough week with lots of tears, tiredness and sickness so to hear this news is wonderful. I’m terrified and excited all at the same time…it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.
Hang in there little guys, we love you so much!
So the IUI went without a hitch, we think.
After a long wait in the waiting room with me downing loads of water as the treatment has to be done on a full bladder we headed down to the basement of CRGH bursting for a wee. The room was dimly lit and very clean and just contained an ultra scan machine, it was all pretty chilled really. I got undressed and it was all over in minutes. Bit like a smear test…uncomfortable but ok and I did my best to visualise the little spermoids swimming in and making contact with the egg. (I was told to do this, as well as think lots of positive thoughts.) I then had to lie down for about 15 minutes and then head home. We spent the day relaxing and eating yummy food and thinking good thoughts!
I’m writing this five days after the IUI and I feel completely wiped. The medication they have given me comes with lots of side effects which bizarrely are a bit like pregnancy signs like sore boobs, tummy ache, tiredness etc. But I keep having to remind myself that they might mean nothing at all and not to get my hopes up. I’m already having to stop myself googling IUI success rates every two minutes… it’s all I think about at the moment…!
1 week and 3 days and then we shall know!
Our baby-making journey actually start 9 months ago back in November 2014 when we skipped along to a consultation at The Women’s Clinic in London thinking that once we were through those doors our dream baby would practically be handed on a plate to us (complete with beautiful smile, cute little fingers and toes and big blue eyes.)
As we sat nervously awaiting our nurse to come and collect us to take us in to a consultation room we sipped posh coffee and flicked through magazines such as Embroyoz, Fertility and Ova gazing happily at the glossy photos of gorgeous blond hair and blue eyed babies that smiled down at us from the walls.
Little did we know that we were about to be thrown in to a world full of acronyms (IUI, IVF, ICI anyone?), weeing on sticks and what feels like constant disappointment at the moment. We knew it wouldn’t be easy but I don’t think we were prepared to be sitting here babyless 9 months later…