We never imagined Scout to be an only child and so when she was only 4 months old we stocked up on some of her donor’s sperm from the London Sperm Bank so we could one day realise this. Since then, it’s been tucked away in a little freezer somewhere in the darkest depths of London waiting to be called on to do it’s job.
A couple of months ago we got in touch with a fertility clinic in Sheffield and arranged a meeting to put together a plan of action. I’d somehow blocked out most of the (highly stressful) treatment we had to have Scout. For one thing I’d forgotten that the clinic would want to know every little detail about our lives to the point where it feels as though you are having the toughest job interview of your life – to be a parent. Completely irrelevant questions were asked – the consultant focused on Kate’s disability for at least half an hour when this felt redundant to us really… It wouldn’t be Kate carrying the baby so we couldn’t really understand it and were left biting our tongues . Were they questioning her ability to parent? Or was it pure nosiness?
Anyway, you’d think having had a child already (who is by all accounts is happy and thriving) we’d be spared the in-depth questioning but we were even asked to go to a counselling appointment so we would understand what we were getting ourselves in for. (Having brought a hyperactive toddler along to the meeting who was happily playing with the uterus model on the table I think I know what I’m getting myself in for thank-you-very-much.)
From our point of view it looks so easy for hetro-sexual couples to have babies when I totally know that’s absolutely not the case for everyone. For a same sex couple it’s hard when you feel like you need to jump through so many hoops in order to even be allowed to try and get pregnant. Next step is a HIV test at some point in the next couple of weeks. Another box to tick and another waiting game. I’m just going to have to try really hard to be patient and let all of the leg work wash over me and concentrate on giving myself the best chance possible to get pregnant… acupuncture, lots of dairy and exercise here I come!
I’ve no idea if these things will even help but they may have done when I became pregnant with Scout so it won’t hurt to give them a try. Plus maybe they will keep my mind occupied during the whole process.