This Mummy Can be Supportive

Thank you for all the messages of support after Kate’s post. We’ve been sent lots of really great ideas to help her and eventually when Kate feels up to it she’ll put them in a blog post so anyone can make use of them too. 

It’s been a hard few days for all of us. Kate had a doctor’s appointment on Friday which thankfully was really helpful and they’ve adjusted her meds, offered her CBT and took her seriously. He also gave her the number of a Crisis team just in case. Kate was supposed to go on a shoot this weekend but he strongly advised that she cancelled and after a lot of persuasion from me, she did. Being in a tiny little room over night on her own at the Travelodge isn’t good for anyone let alone when your mental health is bad!

I wanted to write something about what it’s like being the partner of someone who is going through a period of bad mental health… it’s really not easy – it’s so hard seeing her like this and there not being anything I can physically do. Kate has a lot of pain with her disability and usually I can help by doing practical things like fetching her painkillers, running her a bath, help her get dressed etc. But there’s nothing I really do at the moment and looking on helplessly isn’t an option either. However, when I asked Kate if I was helping, she said I was. So I asked her what I did that was helpful…

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I guess it’s going to be different for everyone – I’m sure some people just like to be left alone for instance, but that’s what is working for Kate at the moment. She’s gone into work today which is really great and hopefully she’ll be able to manage the whole day there. It helps that she is the boss and knows that she has the option of leaving if she really needs to! A couple of other things that have been helpful I think are that I’ve been trying to give Kate all the rest and extra sleep she may need – however, without letting her sleep in too late as then that would result in her not sleeping at night and as everything seems so much worse at night – for anyone. 

I’ve also tried to be decisive about things as I think Kate feels quite lost sometimes with making decisions even about what to eat, what to do in the day etc so as long as she is feeling well enough to go out and about I’ve tried to come up with gentle plans for the day which include eating clean and well – no caffeine, things that give her a bad tummy (she is allergic to a LOT of food, nightmare!), no alcohol and lots of fruit and veg.

At the moment we are just taking each day at a time and knowing that we are not alone in this is so helpful and reassuring.  

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Scrambled Eggs

So it seems that the fertility drugs that I am currently injecting myself with have turned me in to a weeping mess. I am crying over EVERYTHING. It’s the kind of crying that happens for no particular reason like if someone is particularly nice to me or even just asks me how I am. The drugs also are giving me weird tummy and back pains but the injections themselves I don’t mind doing at all. They’re the easy bit.

Work has been particularly busy and stressful this week with lots of ups and downs and I’m working long hours. Sneaking off for scans every other day isn’t ideal but fortunately the results are looking good with my ovaries growing lots of lovely follicles. I think I have two dominant ones on my left ovary at the moment which is great and IUI will happen on Monday I reckon.

If this course of IUI doesn’t work we’re considering trying something more drastic… I don’t mean stealing a baby… but maybe looking into IVF. I read that The Women’s Clinic do an egg sharing programme where you get the IVF free if you share eggs which could be something to consider as are funds are running out fast. Anyway, as I keep reminding myself I shouldn’t be jumping the gun when we have literally only had one failed IUI which is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I think when you want a baby it consumes absolutely every bit of you and it can’t come quick enough and I’m one of those people who will try any method to get what I want but I need to remember to be CALM and just slow down.